Who on earth?

Can you identify them?

aascharyix OR aascharyasoochix
maastix OR maastikallix
mudkix OR mudiyix
gayix
kunnix OR naayix
mailigix OR koLkix
chaalix OR gaalimaadix
jaalienjaayix
aayurvedix OR vaidix
mukhyaamshix
tondrix
nidrix

These are now subject to copyright!

Darwin

The news that the Anglican church has apologised to Charles Darwin fascinated me.

Somehow, the image of the Church saying, "Sorry Charlie, old fruit!", a la Bertie Wooster passed in front of my mind's eye!

I am doubly honoured!

Some days ago, my friend, fellow blogger, friendly critic (of my posts) and post-publication-spellchecker and grammar-questioner Starry Eyed Shruti gave me this award. I am thrilled.

However, her bestowing the honour coincided with a slump in my blogging. I do hope that that slump is in the quantity and not the quality of my posts. I hasten to add that I am not claiming that my posts are of great/excellent/irreproachable quality. All I am saying is that it has not slumped from whatever quality I normally try to achieve.

The slump was such that I did not even properly acknowledge the award and "brag" about it in a post. So here I am. Thanks Shruti, I am honoured.

This morning I was told that I have been given this award, again! This time by Shruthi.

Are you wondering what this is all about? Look at the spelling. The second one has an 'h' extra. Now, how is that I described Shruti so variously and not Shruthi? Well, Shruthi is my niece, friend, cheerleader and guide, coach, teacher, problem-solver for my blogging.

Thanks again!

Now, how can I sign off without taking a dig at someone or the other? So here goes.

When I describe these two I was uncomfortable that I sounded like many public speakers who introduce someone on the stage with such superlatives that the subject of the praise could start wondering if someone else is being described by mistake. I am sure that Shruti and Shruthi (No reference to Thomson and Thomson intended) will surely recognise themselves without any problems.

Finally, the earlier recipients have all passed on the awards to others. My blog reading is limited. So, I do not pass it on to others. If I had received this award from someone else, I would have (without second thoughts and without a second's thought) given it to these two!

*** Links to the blogs of Shruti and Shruthi are in the list of links below my picture, at the beginning of my blog.

Car Pool

Here is an outfit that is doing excellent work to ease traffic congestion in Bangalore and also contributing towards a greener world.

I was a member from the early days of its inception. But, by the time I got a suitable car pool partner, my office was shifted and along with that move came the office bus. So I commute to the office by bus.

Do try this out and see if you can contribute too?

What is all this Indianness stuff anyhow?

I must admit that the title is inspired by the titles of the inimitable articles of the inimitable Bob Pease.

Flashback: The Aussies came, won some tournament, Sharad Power, I mean Pawar gives away the trophy, in their eagerness to get photographed with it, they ask the power that be, Pawar, to "move away mite". All hell breaks loose. Our senior, respected leader has been insulted. Aussies are boors. In India such things do not happen. Holier than thou attitude surfaces.

Shift to the present day. The coach of the Indian cricket team, is admonished that he should not give interviews. 24/7 "news" channels cry themselves hoarse about it.

Yes, such things happen in India. We invite a guy to make our team perform better. The land where "atithi dEvOBava" is said to be the credo, the news is made public. Would it be too difficult for the BCCI to quietly tell the coach not to do it such that the rest of the world is not even aware of it? "What the left hand does . . . " kind of thing.

PS: Here is a very ineresting article by Pease which is of general interest. If you are an electronics engineer you must explore his articles and some of them are pretty amazing.

Menu

As I looked at the menu in the canteen today, I decided to take the North Indian Thali. Ever eager to try new and exotic food, (I do not call myself a foodie though, more because I hate that neologism than because I am not one!), I was tempted by something called Palin rice that was on offer.

When I looked at the various dishes actually on offer, I was disappointed to find that there was nothing that could have matched that exotic name.

One of the colleagues at lunch offered an explanation that the new dish was named in honour of the "Running Mate" of the republican presidential hopeful, McCain, in the American presidential elections. (McCain, literally, means "the son of Cain" in scottish tradition. Does it mean that his name is really Enoch?) If that had occurred to me earlier, I would have avoided the stuff, as Republicans are not my bowl of rice, (that includes Condoleezza Rice), I mean, my cuppa' tea.

It, eventually, turned out that devil called typo (one more neologism) was at work. What was on offer was just plain Plain rice. How mundane!

(I have written so much parenthetically in this post! Ayyo! Even this!)

Action Oooops?

Looks familiar?

I posted a picture of a hoarding and commented on it. Now I see that it has been replaced! Cause and effect?

I would love to think so but, who knows?

Who cares? This is definitely better than the previous one.

Roll of Dishonour

Whenever I see bad advertisements with worse Kannada, I feel like starting a movement to rouse Kannadigas into some kind of action. Boycott that product or that company's products.

Apparently this does not work. I know of a case that did not work. The issue was far more serious than mauling of a language in advertisements. I refer to the Union Carbide and the Bhopal gas leak tragedy. Quite a few organisations tried to get people to boycott Union Carbide's products, the most visible of which was Eveready.

I am not surprised that it was a failure. As far as I know, that was the most powerful brand at that time and many small shops stocked no other brand. What a pity. I was committed to that boycott and adhered to it for years. Even today, when I buy batteries I look for other brands and if for some reason I buy Eveready, I feel guilty.

Now coming to the mauling of Kannada with impunity, and the recent trigger for writing about it now, was an ice cream advertisement from a company called GRB. It simply states, "Taste andre Taste". (Literally translated, it means: taste means taste, Well, what else can it mean? But what it means in idiomatic Kannada is that it is extremely tasty.)

Another trigger was the name of a restaurant written in Kannada. It is called Jhopdi. (For the denizens of Bengaluru: You can see this restaurant or at least its board in the same building as that of Hotel Chalukya) Below are pictures of how it has been written and how it should be.

The practice of using English words in "kannada" advertisements is not new. One of the worst trend setters was Spice - the cellular service provider. Their advertisement said, "simpallaagi sellyulaar aagi". Ughhhhh!

(Of course, Kannada is not the only language that they ruin. One of the earliest such murder I had seen was the appeal to the buyer to "unpeel" a packet of some biscuits. Unpeel? It is as difficult as filling toothpaste into a tube after having squeezed it out!)

Here is chance to make a roll of dishonour and rank them. Look out for mauling of Kannada and write to me and we will list them in descending order of the seriousness of the crime committed.

It could include examples like that abominable catch line of Radio Mirchi. Sakhat Hot Magaa. That line rewrites one of the definitions of democracy and uses it as a definition of itself: Of the morons, by the morons, for the morons?

Interpretation

I saw an advertisement for a purported news paper. "You deserve the best!", it declared.

My reaction was, "So, read The Hindu"?

Topsy Turvy

I got the following story by mail. I have made some small changes , for instance, removing the capitals from words like church and bar!

In a small town in America, a man decided to open a bar right opposite a church. The church and its congregation started a campaign to block the bar from opening, with petitions and prayed daily against his business.

Work progressed, nevertheless. However, when it was almost complete and about to open in a few days, a bolt of lightning struck the bar and it was burnt to ground.

The church folk were rather smug after that, until the bar owner sued the church authorities for $10 million on the grounds that the church, through its congregation &and prayers, was responsible for the destruction of his bar, either through direct or indirect actions or means.

In its reply to the court, the church vehemently denied all responsibility and any connection between their prayers and the bar's fate. In support of their claim they referred to the Benson Study at Harvard that intercessionery prayer had no impact!

As the case made its way into court, the judge looked over the paperwork at the hearing and commented: "I don't know how I am going to decide this case, but it appears from the paperwork, that we have a bar owner who believes in the power of prayer and we have an entire church and its devotees that doesn't!"

This made me curious and I looked for references to the Benson study and found some contradictory web sites and also a post by "Stimulus" with the same story!

This story reminds me of a quote of Osho - "Acharya" Rajaneesh. - only the priest knows that there is no god!

Another friend tells me a story about a begger finding that the habitués of taverns are more munificent than the people coming out of places of worship! I will get that story from him again and post that too - later.

Olympic déjà vu

Here are my random, rambling thoughts on the Beijing Olympics:

China, the ‘best ever’ opening ceremony, Phelps owns the pool, Bolt runs a 9.69 sec 100 m – an astonishing world record, an Indian wins an individual gold, many firsts . .

Some things do not change, however; people crying that it is a national shame that a country of a billion people does not win anything more. As I write this, there is a distinct possibility that we win some medals in boxing.

But, what all of us who cry that it is a shame that we do not win medals in the international arena forget is that we have a lot more to be ashamed of and that they are the real reason for the ‘Olympic shame’.

The Netherlands recently overtook the US in the average heights of its populations. What has that got to do with medals in the Olympics? Everything! Sociologists think that the reason for this is the greater social equality in the Netherlands. It does not help that the US is one of the richest countries in the world because it has too many who are very poor. What matters is the social equality. That translates into the fact that the people in the NL have access to nutrition that allows them to grow to their full potential.

Does this translate into medals in the Olympics? May be, may be not. But it is clear that NL is a force to reckon with in football and hockey an has won seven medals. At the time of writing this it stands 21st in the medals tally. What is the big deal, you say? It has a population of about 18 million for chrissake! If India won medals at the same rate, it should have won some 350 medals in this Olympics, by now!

OK, is social equality all? Definitely not. There are factors such as tradition. Sporting tradition, I mean. This, to a large extent explains how terribly poor countries like Ethiopia can win golds. Note that they are in fields that hardly need equipment and facilities.

While watching the Olympics (alas only on TV) this time, I had enough proof for the lack of sporting tradition in India. (Incidentally, I watched the first week of this Olympics in a hospital room while keeping company to my son who had just then undergone “Kebab Osteotomy” on both his femurs. That is another long story.) The patient in the other bed in the room switched over to Kannada serials as soon as I left the room. The first opportunity I got I shifted to the Olympics and there it stayed for the rest of the stay.

The ticker tape news highlights provided some indicators to the lack of sporting tradition, apart from the ‘normal’ lack of attention to detail. Women’s Heptathlon was consistently spelt as Hepthatalon! Then there was the Artistic Gymnastics All-Around. I swear, I am not making this up. The person preparing that ticker had perhaps never heard of these two events until he was actually required to type it in.

Most of the time, the TV was in mute. When I did turn up the volume, I heard some interesting bits. For one commentator the name of a Thai boxer was too complex and throughout the four rounds referred to him as the Thai boxer. With his Indian pronunciation it sounded like ‘the Thigh boxer’. Another commentator somehow caught hold of ‘the Finnish player’. I have a suspicion that he does not know the name of the country – Finland! This kind of inaccuracies were not limited to Doordarshan. Aaj Tak kept talking about Fleps instead of Phelps!

The fact that one of the gold medallists in Swimming, Alain Bernard lives in a village with a population of 450 amazes me. In India, anyone living in a village with a population of 45,000 will find it practically impossible to gain access to a swimming pool.

Talking of sporting tradition reminds me of this incident. Some thirty odd years ago, I cycled from Mysore to Bangalore – a distance of 140 km. The reaction of an uncle and an aunt were – “Why? Weren’t there buses?” and “Your father let you go? I thought he was sane”, respectively. Says a lot does it not?

So, those optimists who dream that India will one day win medals by the bushels at the Olympics: Rejoice! The day is not far off. It will happen as soon as we have more social equality, have a better universal education and when we have developed a sporting tradition going back centuries . . . . .”

IIM-B Vs Wharton

A newspaper hoarding in Bangalore proclaims, "It is harder to get into IIM-B, than to get into Wharton".

This is not a tall claim even though the hoarding is.

But, every Bangalorean knows why it is harder to get into IIM-B.

Simply because it is on bannErghaTTa road.

What's it again?

In our canteen, the day's menu is posted on the canteen display board.

The names of dishes are spelt any which way the manager pleases. It is fun. We Indians know what each means (most of the time) whichever way it is spelt and our overseas colleagues don't know what they each means even if it is spelt correctly.

So it does really does not make a difference.

"bisi bELe bhaat" is a popular South Indian (actually Karnataka) dish . Literally, it means hot lentils rice. It is also called bisi bELe huLi anna - hot lentils sour rice. Of course huLi could also mean a dish which is called huLi - a thick lentils soup with vegetables.

Recently the identity of this delicious dish was revealed thus "bisi belle bath!"! on the board.

Sounds like a cannibal's favourite dish. Does it not?

The word bhaat is actually alien to Kannada. Perhaps Marathi for rice. This is appended to the names of other rice dishes too. "khaara bhaat" - hot (as in spicy) rice, kesari bhaat - saffron rice. Saffron here is not just the colour but the spice saffron. Interestingly, both these dishes could be have no rice in it but made of 'cream of wheat' or soji or rava.

The best is the dish called "rice bhaat". Rice rice!

Ooooops!!

One of the new series of hoardings dotting Bangalore. If he loves Bangalore, why is he doing what he appears to be doing?

Or, do I have a dirty mind?

I am surprised the admen did not feel the way I do. Or, don't they have a dirty mind?

Ooooops!

Stockiest? If you do not understand what it is talking about, look at the word in parenthesis for help!

Eclipse

Eclipses always seem to eclipse the good sense of people.

It was a pleasure to commute back from work today. In Bangalore! Thanks to the eclipse.

The city referred to as the High Tech city in a recent article I read, somehow retreats to the middle ages during eclipses.

Years ago, during a near total solar eclipse, there were apparently only two people on the roads of Ranchi, where I lived, at that time. One was, of course, yours truly and the other was his cook. Munna.

I had recently acquired an ability to speak Hindi and I used it effectively to brainwash Munna. He understood the concepts of eclipses explained to him with the help of a candle, a dark room, a lemon and an apple. I wish I could work my magic again . . . .

Come Again?

Thank God, I am not superstitious!

Auto - No Wisdom

After I wrote the two earlier posts on Auto wisdom I was looking for examples 'inane' or 'clever' (according to the perpetrator) ones and found the best (worst) today. Here it goes, with no comments:

Love is Rose
Rose is Red
Red is Danger



ugh!!!!!!!!!!

Courtesy

A few days ago, I returned home, walked in, pushed the wheelchair out to bring my son in. The road being small, I had to block a part of the road. Normally this would not be a problem. But that day there was a large vehicle (Innova?) parked on the other side of the road, a few meters away. This made it difficult for vehicles coming from either direction, almost impossible, to pass us. As soon as I opened the car door, a taxi came, stopped and waited silently. Since my son had not started getting onto the wheelchair, I closed the door shut and let the taxi pass. I was impressed.

Taxi drivers are notorious for their impatience and noisiness. But this one was silent. Great.

After I opened the door again and my son started getting on to the wheelchair, another taxi came. This one too stopped and waited silently. When I could, again, I closed the door and indicated to the driver that he could now pass. He smiled at me and passed. Ah! Good.

As I started pushing the wheelchair, a big car came towards us, honked impatiently, slowed down but moved past us, very close. Close enough to cause some anxiety.

Ah. Big guns, no time for the hoi polloi in an an (six year) old Maruti . . . ?

Heartening

I was about to get off the footpath but stopped because a heavily burdened Lambani woman was about to come in my way. After she passed, my path was blocked, again, by a small boy being led by the hand by a girl, behind the woman.

The urchin was being led by the hand by a 'modern girl' complete with faded denims, trainer shoes, a t-shirt covered by a denim jacket, complete with a back-pack like bag. The boy had a bedraggled teddy bear and a few other toys which had 'discarded' written all over them - invisibly but unmistakably. I wondered - since when did Lambani girls get this modern?

Finally I got off the foot path, crossed the road and stood on the other footpath waiting for my bus. When I looked across, the girl was walking back, having seen to it that the urchin was safe on the other side of the crossroads. On the distant footpath, a Lambani group was in the process of making their temporary home.

She stood in the bus stand as if she does this kind of thing every day . Perhaps she does. She caught the next bus that came.

Heartening. Heart warming.