Action Oooops?

Looks familiar?

I posted a picture of a hoarding and commented on it. Now I see that it has been replaced! Cause and effect?

I would love to think so but, who knows?

Who cares? This is definitely better than the previous one.

Roll of Dishonour

Whenever I see bad advertisements with worse Kannada, I feel like starting a movement to rouse Kannadigas into some kind of action. Boycott that product or that company's products.

Apparently this does not work. I know of a case that did not work. The issue was far more serious than mauling of a language in advertisements. I refer to the Union Carbide and the Bhopal gas leak tragedy. Quite a few organisations tried to get people to boycott Union Carbide's products, the most visible of which was Eveready.

I am not surprised that it was a failure. As far as I know, that was the most powerful brand at that time and many small shops stocked no other brand. What a pity. I was committed to that boycott and adhered to it for years. Even today, when I buy batteries I look for other brands and if for some reason I buy Eveready, I feel guilty.

Now coming to the mauling of Kannada with impunity, and the recent trigger for writing about it now, was an ice cream advertisement from a company called GRB. It simply states, "Taste andre Taste". (Literally translated, it means: taste means taste, Well, what else can it mean? But what it means in idiomatic Kannada is that it is extremely tasty.)

Another trigger was the name of a restaurant written in Kannada. It is called Jhopdi. (For the denizens of Bengaluru: You can see this restaurant or at least its board in the same building as that of Hotel Chalukya) Below are pictures of how it has been written and how it should be.

The practice of using English words in "kannada" advertisements is not new. One of the worst trend setters was Spice - the cellular service provider. Their advertisement said, "simpallaagi sellyulaar aagi". Ughhhhh!

(Of course, Kannada is not the only language that they ruin. One of the earliest such murder I had seen was the appeal to the buyer to "unpeel" a packet of some biscuits. Unpeel? It is as difficult as filling toothpaste into a tube after having squeezed it out!)

Here is chance to make a roll of dishonour and rank them. Look out for mauling of Kannada and write to me and we will list them in descending order of the seriousness of the crime committed.

It could include examples like that abominable catch line of Radio Mirchi. Sakhat Hot Magaa. That line rewrites one of the definitions of democracy and uses it as a definition of itself: Of the morons, by the morons, for the morons?

Interpretation

I saw an advertisement for a purported news paper. "You deserve the best!", it declared.

My reaction was, "So, read The Hindu"?

Topsy Turvy

I got the following story by mail. I have made some small changes , for instance, removing the capitals from words like church and bar!

In a small town in America, a man decided to open a bar right opposite a church. The church and its congregation started a campaign to block the bar from opening, with petitions and prayed daily against his business.

Work progressed, nevertheless. However, when it was almost complete and about to open in a few days, a bolt of lightning struck the bar and it was burnt to ground.

The church folk were rather smug after that, until the bar owner sued the church authorities for $10 million on the grounds that the church, through its congregation &and prayers, was responsible for the destruction of his bar, either through direct or indirect actions or means.

In its reply to the court, the church vehemently denied all responsibility and any connection between their prayers and the bar's fate. In support of their claim they referred to the Benson Study at Harvard that intercessionery prayer had no impact!

As the case made its way into court, the judge looked over the paperwork at the hearing and commented: "I don't know how I am going to decide this case, but it appears from the paperwork, that we have a bar owner who believes in the power of prayer and we have an entire church and its devotees that doesn't!"

This made me curious and I looked for references to the Benson study and found some contradictory web sites and also a post by "Stimulus" with the same story!

This story reminds me of a quote of Osho - "Acharya" Rajaneesh. - only the priest knows that there is no god!

Another friend tells me a story about a begger finding that the habitués of taverns are more munificent than the people coming out of places of worship! I will get that story from him again and post that too - later.

Olympic déjà vu

Here are my random, rambling thoughts on the Beijing Olympics:

China, the ‘best ever’ opening ceremony, Phelps owns the pool, Bolt runs a 9.69 sec 100 m – an astonishing world record, an Indian wins an individual gold, many firsts . .

Some things do not change, however; people crying that it is a national shame that a country of a billion people does not win anything more. As I write this, there is a distinct possibility that we win some medals in boxing.

But, what all of us who cry that it is a shame that we do not win medals in the international arena forget is that we have a lot more to be ashamed of and that they are the real reason for the ‘Olympic shame’.

The Netherlands recently overtook the US in the average heights of its populations. What has that got to do with medals in the Olympics? Everything! Sociologists think that the reason for this is the greater social equality in the Netherlands. It does not help that the US is one of the richest countries in the world because it has too many who are very poor. What matters is the social equality. That translates into the fact that the people in the NL have access to nutrition that allows them to grow to their full potential.

Does this translate into medals in the Olympics? May be, may be not. But it is clear that NL is a force to reckon with in football and hockey an has won seven medals. At the time of writing this it stands 21st in the medals tally. What is the big deal, you say? It has a population of about 18 million for chrissake! If India won medals at the same rate, it should have won some 350 medals in this Olympics, by now!

OK, is social equality all? Definitely not. There are factors such as tradition. Sporting tradition, I mean. This, to a large extent explains how terribly poor countries like Ethiopia can win golds. Note that they are in fields that hardly need equipment and facilities.

While watching the Olympics (alas only on TV) this time, I had enough proof for the lack of sporting tradition in India. (Incidentally, I watched the first week of this Olympics in a hospital room while keeping company to my son who had just then undergone “Kebab Osteotomy” on both his femurs. That is another long story.) The patient in the other bed in the room switched over to Kannada serials as soon as I left the room. The first opportunity I got I shifted to the Olympics and there it stayed for the rest of the stay.

The ticker tape news highlights provided some indicators to the lack of sporting tradition, apart from the ‘normal’ lack of attention to detail. Women’s Heptathlon was consistently spelt as Hepthatalon! Then there was the Artistic Gymnastics All-Around. I swear, I am not making this up. The person preparing that ticker had perhaps never heard of these two events until he was actually required to type it in.

Most of the time, the TV was in mute. When I did turn up the volume, I heard some interesting bits. For one commentator the name of a Thai boxer was too complex and throughout the four rounds referred to him as the Thai boxer. With his Indian pronunciation it sounded like ‘the Thigh boxer’. Another commentator somehow caught hold of ‘the Finnish player’. I have a suspicion that he does not know the name of the country – Finland! This kind of inaccuracies were not limited to Doordarshan. Aaj Tak kept talking about Fleps instead of Phelps!

The fact that one of the gold medallists in Swimming, Alain Bernard lives in a village with a population of 450 amazes me. In India, anyone living in a village with a population of 45,000 will find it practically impossible to gain access to a swimming pool.

Talking of sporting tradition reminds me of this incident. Some thirty odd years ago, I cycled from Mysore to Bangalore – a distance of 140 km. The reaction of an uncle and an aunt were – “Why? Weren’t there buses?” and “Your father let you go? I thought he was sane”, respectively. Says a lot does it not?

So, those optimists who dream that India will one day win medals by the bushels at the Olympics: Rejoice! The day is not far off. It will happen as soon as we have more social equality, have a better universal education and when we have developed a sporting tradition going back centuries . . . . .”

IIM-B Vs Wharton

A newspaper hoarding in Bangalore proclaims, "It is harder to get into IIM-B, than to get into Wharton".

This is not a tall claim even though the hoarding is.

But, every Bangalorean knows why it is harder to get into IIM-B.

Simply because it is on bannErghaTTa road.

What's it again?

In our canteen, the day's menu is posted on the canteen display board.

The names of dishes are spelt any which way the manager pleases. It is fun. We Indians know what each means (most of the time) whichever way it is spelt and our overseas colleagues don't know what they each means even if it is spelt correctly.

So it does really does not make a difference.

"bisi bELe bhaat" is a popular South Indian (actually Karnataka) dish . Literally, it means hot lentils rice. It is also called bisi bELe huLi anna - hot lentils sour rice. Of course huLi could also mean a dish which is called huLi - a thick lentils soup with vegetables.

Recently the identity of this delicious dish was revealed thus "bisi belle bath!"! on the board.

Sounds like a cannibal's favourite dish. Does it not?

The word bhaat is actually alien to Kannada. Perhaps Marathi for rice. This is appended to the names of other rice dishes too. "khaara bhaat" - hot (as in spicy) rice, kesari bhaat - saffron rice. Saffron here is not just the colour but the spice saffron. Interestingly, both these dishes could be have no rice in it but made of 'cream of wheat' or soji or rava.

The best is the dish called "rice bhaat". Rice rice!

Ooooops!!

One of the new series of hoardings dotting Bangalore. If he loves Bangalore, why is he doing what he appears to be doing?

Or, do I have a dirty mind?

I am surprised the admen did not feel the way I do. Or, don't they have a dirty mind?

Ooooops!

Stockiest? If you do not understand what it is talking about, look at the word in parenthesis for help!

Eclipse

Eclipses always seem to eclipse the good sense of people.

It was a pleasure to commute back from work today. In Bangalore! Thanks to the eclipse.

The city referred to as the High Tech city in a recent article I read, somehow retreats to the middle ages during eclipses.

Years ago, during a near total solar eclipse, there were apparently only two people on the roads of Ranchi, where I lived, at that time. One was, of course, yours truly and the other was his cook. Munna.

I had recently acquired an ability to speak Hindi and I used it effectively to brainwash Munna. He understood the concepts of eclipses explained to him with the help of a candle, a dark room, a lemon and an apple. I wish I could work my magic again . . . .

Come Again?

Thank God, I am not superstitious!