Saturday, December 31, 2005

No history please! We are Mysoreans

My previous post (No history please! We are Indians) set me thinking in the same vein.

I have come across many instances of such callousness in Mysore.

Here is a brief introduction to Mysore for those who are not familiar with it.

Like we Indians boast of a history of 5000+ years, we Mysoreans claim that we are the cultural capital of the state. That was (please note the past tense) because cultured kings ruled Mysore. They encouraged the arts and so the city became home for many great musicians, music composers, dancers and Sanskrit scholars. It is the home for the Mysore University and many other academic and scientific institutions. This obviously led to the city boasting of great scholars, writers and in general intellectuals. Post independence and the ascendance of Bangalore as the state capital Mysore is just a shadow of its former self.

The reasons cited above also gave the city a plethora of buildings, which are unique and beautiful. But all of them are in danger of some sort or the other.

Here is a list of such buildings and the fate they have suffered.

There is a building called the DC’s office, which houses some government offices. It is situated at the apex of a rise and is , approached by an avenue. The building had a unique architectural feature. Unbelievable as it may sound, it had no windows! Now, do not wonder how the people manning the offices inside breathed. It had fullfledged doors, instead windows. So the offices had many entrances. That must be pretty unusual for a building and is worth preserving, you agree?

Not so, for the powers that be. Years ago, the closed the doors with brick and mortar and converted many of the doors into windows in the style of ticket counters in old railway stations. Ruined for ever, the unique architectural feature of a lovely building.

The next one is the Devaraja Market. This market is a century old. It is an extremely colourful place of unofficial international fame. Let me explain that one. I have come across many foreign tourists who were told by their friends not to miss the market when in Mysore. These tourists were as impressed by the market as the friends who told them about it. There are vegetable shops in central courtyard of a rectangular building of nearly a kilometre long, and about hundred metres wide. The building itself has shops that face the outside of the building and other shops that face inside. Apart from the vegetable sellers it has various other shops selling betel leaves (for which Mysore was very famous) flowers and coloured powders that are used for religious purposes and various incenses. The net effect was that it has an aroma that, if bottled, could be an instant hit anywhere! It is exhilaratingly colourful. It could send an impressionist into a frenzy of colour.

The first sacrilege perpetrated on this beautiful building was allowing the Bata shoe shop to come up in its North Eastern corner. This glass and concrete abomination was rammed into the old palatial architecture. The mortar decorations have vanished and at least on that corner of the building, the old building is dead. Sticking out like a sore thumb is not an apt expression. I sore thumb looks definitely better since you can at least still see that it is thumb.

Now that beautiful old building faces a worse threat. Plans are afoot to demolish it. It sounds worse than my worst nightmare. The reason? This year Mysore received unprecedented rains and the roofs of a couple of shops leaked. Out of some 57 or so shops two leaked and the decision has been taken to demolish the building and build a new one in its place.

Good that the people who have come up with this plan are not in the medical profession. The best treatment for a brain tumour is beheading. You know!?

I earnestly hope that better sense will prevail.

Then there is the case of the Mharaja’s college hostel buildings. It is an old tile roofed building. The outer corridors have cast iron railings. It really looked ‘old world’. Then there arose a need to build more hostel rooms. Build they did, modern steel and concrete structure that have not a single curved line anywhere on them in total contrast to the old buildings. It does clash badly. I am sure with a little bit of imagination it was possible to build a modern building that did not clash with the old so badly.

Now to make matters worse, the old building itself has been mutilated. The railings had one disadvantage. If you kept the room doors open, passers by could see into the room. No privacy and I am sure it is necessary to keep the doors open in summer to get some fresh cool air in. The solution? A brick was has been built behind the railing and that does look ugly. I am sure a better solution was available.

There is huge complex of hospitals attached to the Mysore Medical College (The oldest medical college in the state). It has many blocks, all built in the old ‘royal’ architectural style. Then there was a need for a more modern facility with greater bed capacity. So a building did come up. A grey edifice built fully of granite blocks. Again a sore thumb was thrust in among the old imperious buildings.

Many other stately buildings are mutilated by modern annexes. The Maharani’s College, Yuvaraja’s College, Hardwicke High School to name a few.

I am sure that it is still possible to save many other stately buildings if we care.

Do we care?

Friday, December 30, 2005

No history please! We are Indians.

No other people seem to have more history and less concern for it than we Indians.

Relics from the past are strewn all over the place, over the length and breadth of the country. They appear out of nowhere, where you least expect them. Alas, there is no one to care for them.

Some of them are lucky enough to get some attention, if a scene from some movie has been shot near them. The insistent guide will tell you which sequence from what movie was shot there. Let the architect who built the place or the brave lone woman who defended the town with nothing more than a pestle be damned.

We are also the people who are inordinately proud of our history, even when we know nothing about it. All we need to know is that we have a “recorded history of more than 5000 years”. That is a good number. To hell with everything else!
Here is the latest instance of our (un)concern.

The (un)concerned authorities are installing cable cars in Shravanabelagola, the fears of the Archaeological Survey of India notwithstanding. These are not ‘fears’ as in phobias – irrational. ASI fears that the rock on which the monolith, Gomateswara, stands may crack when the hill is drilled to erect the cable car towers. The site, which is essentially a religious place, will become another ‘fun’ place where tourists throng. There is a chance that the site will declared as a world heritage site by UNESCO and that may not happen if cable cars are installed. These genuine fears of the ASI are ignored and the planned installation is on.

Does anyone care? Do the residents of the temple town have a say in the matter at all? What does the Jain community at large feel about this? No one knows.

When we did take note of such matters, we were aghast that the Bamiyan Buddhas in Afghanistan were destroyed by the Taliban.

Are we any better?

Bangalore's traffic - laugh it off

Either riding my bike or driving my car, the unruliness of the traffic in Bangalore sent my tension levels up. Until I decided to laugh at it and joke about it. It made me more observant without getting riled. So here is the result.

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Q: What is the most common disease in Bangalore?
A: RSI - Repetitive Stress Injury. No, not because of computers, but because of honking horns!

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Q: Is the problem really that bad?
A: Just wait near a road hump. Most drivers honk the horn - hoping that the hump will go away.

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Q: What is the most common psychological problem among Bangaloreans?
A: Owners of big cars are confused. They are not sure if they have bought the car or the road.

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When the rest of the world's drivers see danger ahead, they press the clutch pedal, press the brake. A Bangalorean steps on the accelerator and then honks the horn.

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Q: Why do Bangaloreans overtake from the left?
A: Because, the traffic sign boards, where overtaking is prohibited, show a straight arrow being overtaken by a bent one and a slash across them. So, it must be OK to overtake from the right. Right?

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Q: What is the surest indication that traffic sense of Bangaloreans is pathetic.
A: There is a board which says "Red Means Stop"! (Honest! Denizens of Bangalore, go to Anil Kumble Circle and look up, there IS such a board.

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Q: What is the second such indication?
A: Boards have started appearing which say something like "Go only when green".
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Q: How does the traffic in Bangalore prove that there is a 'God up there' and he is pro-Bangalorean.
A: Traffic continues to move after the light has turned red on the one side and the traffic from the road perpendicular to it starts moving even before the light there has turned green. Still, there are no crashes!

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Q: Which city in India has the greatest acrobats?
A: Bangalore of course. Look at all the drivers talking on the mobile, honking the horn, beating the traffic lights, cursing the other motorists, avoiding pot holes, ..........Allll at the same time.

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Q: Why do Bangaloreans drive on the right (which is wrong, in India)?
A: They have taken the description "Silicon Valley of India" too seriously.

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Q: How does a Bangalorean park a car in a no parking zone?
A: Turn the hazard lights on, leave a hapless passenger inside and walk out.

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Q: What are traffic lights in Bangalore meant for?
A: To be followed if there is a policeman nearby.

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Q: If a strange, exception-to-the-rule Bangalorean stops at a traffic light, others behind him stop too. Why?
A: The others conclude that he has spotted a policeman that they themselves have not.

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Q: What is the easiest way of causing traffic accidents in Bangalore?
A: Follow the traffic rules.

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Q: There is a joke that the shortest measurable interval of time is the time between the traffic light turning green and someone behind you honking the horn. Why does this not apply to Bangalore?
A: Because you cannot measure negative time. The honks would have started even before the light turned green. If they ever stopped at all, that is.

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Q: When two denizens of this city meet, what is the most common topic of discussion?
A: Traffic of course

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Typical of the directions you get in this city:

Q: How far is it from here?
A: Five minutes by walk, half an hour by car.

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Old Joke:
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: It wanted to get to the other side..
Q: Why did the chicken cross back?
A: It is a bloody double crossing chick.

In the new telling:
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: It wanted to get to the other side.
Q: Why did the chicken cross back?
A: I don't know why, but I know for sure it was not in Bangalore!
Q: But.... How do you know that?
A: Well, if the chick tried it in Bangalore, it would be a dead chick!

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When a famous mountaineer was asked why he wanted to climb Mt. Everest, his answer was succinct - "Because it is there". If you asked a Bangalorean why he honks the horn, perhaps, you will get the same answer.

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Old Joke:
Q: Why did Mallu cross the road?
A: Simbly

In the new telling:
Q: Why did the Bangalorean honk the horn?
A: Simply

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Q: When you see a rare Bangalorean driving or riding on the left side of the road, what can you conclude?
A: That he is going to take a right turn at the next traffic intersection!

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News: There is an unconfirmed rumour (There are no confirmed rumours, are there?) that a Bangalorean is planning to sue the manufacturer of the car called 'Swift' because he bought and it was NOT swift. That is misleading advertisement alright!

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News: Normally car and bike manufacturers publish fuel consumption specs as "under ideal test conditions" or something similar. Since it means nothing to anyone in Bangalore, they are developing a new spec called "under idling conditions". That is all we can do on Bangalore roads - idling - anyway, right?

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