Thursday, June 05, 2008

Euro 2008 Jokes

A man is sitting in a "house full" football stadium waiting for a Euro2008 match to start. He finds an empty seat next to him. He asks the man on the other side of the seat if he is waiting for someone.

He says, "No, that seat is for my wife. She recently died and this is the first time I am watching a match without her, since we got married"

The man is all sympathy. "Oh! I am sorry. But you could have brought some relative of yours to the match".

"But they are all attending the funeral"


After a football match, a man asks the referee, "Do you have three seconds?"

The referee is obliging and says yes.

"Then, please tell me all you know about football"


A black clad man knocks on the pearly gates. St Peter opens the gate and asks "Have you done anything wrong in your life?"

I am a football referee. In a match between England and Italy I gave a free kick to England from 11 meters and I was wrong"

"Hmmmmm, how long ago was that?"

"about 30 seconds ago"


New school. New class. Teacher wants to break ice and asks students to say their name age and father's occupation.

I am Wolfgang, I am 11, my father is a mechanic

I am Heinrich, I am 12 and my father is a brick layer

I am John, I am 12, my father is a nude dancer in a bar.

The teacher is shocked and stops the exercise. At recess she asks the boy privately if what he said was true.

"No, Ma'm. I lied. But, my father is a player in the national football team of England. It was too embarrassing to say so."


How could Greece win Euro2004?

They were too slow for human eyes.


What does a Dutchman do after Holland wins Euro 2008?

Switches his play station off . . . . .


Teacher: Tell me the names of three great men whose names start with B

Pupil: "Ballack, Basler, Beckenbauer!"

Teacher: Have you ever heard of Bach, Brecht or Brahms?

Pupil: I am not interested in substitutes


Two retired old men sit in front of the TV and wait for the match to start. One asks the other, "What match is on Today?"

"Austria - Hungary" answers the other. "Against?", the first man wants to know.


From Der Spiegel

PS: There are a couple of more jokes. I did not understand them. It is because of my German or poor knowledge of football - I hope - and not because of my poor sense of humour.


  1. Anonymous8:07 pm

    Those are fantastic!! Do you remember you once told me this?

    How Australians love cricket and Beer:
    Two friends went to see a cricket test match, as they took their seats in the stadium friend A remembered and asked B to go get some beer from his home. So B went to A’s home and got the beer from the refrigerator and saw a note left behind by A’s wife that she is leaving him for good.
    Poor chap B came to stadium very hesitatingly told A that is there is bad news and that his wife had deserted him.
    On hearing this A replied “I have even worse news for you “Bradman just got out”

    Sorry cannot put in the best way as you can tell

  2. Ah! That is a good one! I told you that? It seems new to me. That is the best thing about forgetting jokes. You can enjoy them all over again.

    Is this Suresh? You can leave an anonymous with your name at the end! ;-)

  3. wow those are goood:)! let the football fever spread!!

  4. Hi K2, see the latest too. . .